Episode #86- Layton and Chelsea Boeve On The Hard Truths Of Porn In Relationships
In the journey of building meaningful relationships, it's essential to recognize the impact societal influences, like pornography, can have on our expectations. While it's often unspoken, the truth is that pornography can subtly chip away at the trust and sense of security vital for any relationship to thrive. Yet, in acknowledging this reality, we're presented with an opportunity to foster deeper connections.
Let's envision a future where trust and safety are the cornerstones of our relationships, where love flourishes and freedom reigns. It's about creating spaces where authenticity and intimacy can truly blossom. So, how do we keep porn out of our lives and relationships in a way that leads to flourishing and freedom?
This is why Layton and Chelsea Boeve, from the Liberator Podcast, join us here on episode 86. Layton and Chelsea are a married couple from Northern Michigan and are the hosts of the Liberator Podcast. The Liberator Podcast is a discussion of pornography’s hard truths through the lens of stories, science, and Scripture. They bring the perspective of both a man and a woman to remove the barriers of shame and embarrassment that stifle conversations and community around the effects of pornography.
In this episode, we discuss:
- How does porn addiction affect relationships, and how can young adults navigate open conversations with their partners about this issue?
- Breaking the stigma surrounding porn addiction can be tough. How do you think we can work together to break the stigma while still acknowledging the severity of its effects on our lives?
- Societal perceptions influenced by pornographic content can create unrealistic expectations within relationships. What do you think distinguishes positive sexuality from porn's portrayal of sex?
- When trust is compromised due to issues related to porn consumption, what steps can couples take to rebuild trust and strengthen their emotional intimacy?
- Are there any specific trust-building exercises or communication techniques that can aid in the healing process?
You can find the Liberator Podcast on Apple or Spotify Podcasts as well as through their website below.
Episode 84 - Healing From Unresolved Trauma with Tara Lalonde. PhD
Join us in this riveting episode as we delve deep into the complexities of unresolved trauma, exploring its impact on friendships and marriages. Our expert guest, Tara Lalonde PhD, a seasoned psychotherapist and marriage counsellor, shares profound insights and practical advice for supporting individuals amid their trauma journeys. Tara recently worked with Focus On The Family Canada in producing a resource centred around helping people find Healing From Un-resolved Trauma. If you find this podcast episode helpful and want to go deeper we would highly recommend signing up for this free resource.
Episode #84 Highlights:
-Demystifying Trauma: In a world increasingly aware of trauma, our guest breaks down the concept for listeners, providing a clear understanding of what is meant when we speak of trauma and its various forms.
-Big T vs. Little T Trauma: Explore the distinctions between Big T and Little T trauma, gaining valuable insights into why these nuances matter in mental and emotional well-being.
-Procedural Maps and Life Filters: Unpack the fascinating concept of procedural maps and how they become the lenses through which we navigate life, shaping our perceptions and responses to the world around us.
-Childhood Trauma Unveiled: Understand why experiences from our formative years persist into adulthood, affecting relationships and emotional well-being…and more!
Tara Lalonde, a registered psychotherapist in Ontario, has been counselling adults and couples for over 20 years and is a lead marriage therapist with the Hope Restored marriage intensive counselling program in Ontario, Canada. She also has a private practice focusing on trauma recovery. Tara holds a doctorate in professional counselling from Liberty University and has theological training through her Master’s of Divinity in professional counselling, minoring in pastoral studies, from Tyndale Seminary. Tara has appeared on 100 Huntley Street and 700 Club along with radio programs and podcasts in Canada. She is also the author of An Unexpected Freedom: Discover Peace and Joy in the Reality of Life. She is also publishing a new book she co-authored that will be out in July 2024. Tara and her husband Vince have been married for 19 years.
For more info on the Hope Restored Marriage Intensive, click here
Episode 69 - Rachelle Starr On Outrageous Obedience
Happy New Year from The Union!
It seems the word “obedience” has become a swear word today in Christian culture. We know that we are saved by grace and not works, so we assume that obedience is optional. This couldn’t be further from the truth. It is not optional but, it is also not a burden. It’s a joy to obey God’s instruction and His leadership in our everyday life.
In Episode 69, Bryan sits down with Rachelle Starr and discusses her new book, “Outrageous Obedience” and how we can grow in radical obedience that shows the amazing love of God in some dark and challenging areas of humanity.
Rachelle Starr (www.scarlethope.org) founded Scarlet Hope, a nonprofit dedicated to sharing the hope of Jesus with women in the adult entertainment industry. In 2015, Rachelle launched a social enterprise called Scarlet's Bakery, where women can receive employment and valuable job skills while producing and selling delicious baked goods. Rachelle and her husband, Josh, have two boys through adoption and reside in Louisville, Kentucky. Learn more at scarlethope.org and by following @rachellestarr.co on Instagram.
Episode 65 - Ruth Erickson On Finding Healing After Your Husband’s Affair
In Episode 65, we sit down with Ruth Erickson as she unpacks some of the keys to finding healing after a marriage experiences adultery even when the marriage doesn’t survive. Ruth is a mama and step-mama in a beautiful blended family. Ruth has a heart for worship and for helping women, who are recovering from infidelity trauma, find hope & healing and to equip the church to love these women well. God has rewritten the most painful parts of her story to prove His promises.
Ruth’s new book, (Un)Faithful, is a guide through the firestorm of infidelity. Ruth Erickson’s story of heartbreak and healing is an invitation for all women who have suffered the betrayal of an affair to discover the depths of the faithfulness of God. Ruth offers wisdom, perspective and hope, standing years beyond her own fire, yet the book also journeys back in time to include riveting and honest poetry and journal entries from her real-time experience.
Wrapped in forgiveness and faith, (Un)Faithful is a raw and reverent journey to healing, whether the marriage survives or not. While every story is unique, this book offers timeless, biblical principles by which any woman can walk into safety and dignity under the covering of a gracious God.
Follow Ruth on IG- @ruthaerickson
Episode 55 - Chris & Stephanie Teague On Living A Double Life, Divorce & Restoration
They thought that it was all over. They had been high school sweethearts, married for multiple years, but Chris had begun to live a double-life.
Though he was leading worship on Sunday mornings at his church, doubts and questions about his faith were nagging at him. It was a battle in his mind, but also in his soul as he began to live without restraint.
The foundation of their marriage was eroding, and Steph was shocked the day that Chris told her it was over. Shortly after, the divorce papers were signed. But, it wasn’t as over as they thought.
We are grateful to be able to share our conversation with this remarried couple from Out of the Dust music over on The Union Podcast today.
This conversation will help you:
See the value of transparency, starting right now, today
Understand the processes of forgiveness and learning to trust again
Realize the need to put your hope in a God who will not fail you
Find hope that restoration for your soul is always possible through Jesus
You can find this episode over on our website, on Apple, Spotify, or Google Play. We welcome you to subscribe, rate, and share so that these messages of hope can be found by many more listeners who are at a vulnerable spot and need some love!
And be sure to follow along with Chris & Steph to listen to the beautiful music they have released and to see them live!
IG: @outofthedustmusic
Episode 48 - Carissa Shockley On Gender Identity, LGBTQ , Trauma and The Love Of Jesus
Many people today feel a huge disconnect from who they are as people and their body. It can feel overwhelming and hopeless. Today we want you to know that there is hope and His name is Jesus.
In this episode, Bryan sits down with Carissa Shockley as she shares her story of how God met her on the road of gender dysphoria and LGBTQ lifestyle , and led her to a place of healing and identity in Him.
Carissa is a songwriter, worship leader, communicator and passionate follower of Jesus, who has a powerful message of hope for all who are caught in the confusion of identity and past shame.
For more from Carissa:
https://www.carissashockley.com/
IG & TikTok: @cls1727
Episode 46 - The Church's Identity, Holiness, & What To Do With Brokenness
It’s been said that “one’s identity will determine their destiny”. So true right!
We believe that this is one of the main reasons why the Biblical authors are very purposeful to remind us of who we are in Jesus and what He has done, on our behalf, because we are called to model who He is. This understanding will empower us to live free, holy, and whole, while also being set to communicate it to others around us.
In this episode, Bryan and Bonnie share from their hearts on the importance of identity, holiness, and what to do with brokenness.
Episode 43 - Ruth Erickson: On Marriage, Adultery, and Healing From Heart Break
No one walks down the aisle with the hope that their marriage will die, but how can you find hope for healing if things happen beyond your control?
Ruth Erickson is the guest on our podcast this week, and she vulnerably shares about her journey of healing after her husband had an affair.
We talk about:
⁃ the value of laying strong foundations of personal identity and connection to the heart of God so that the choices of others do not shipwreck us
⁃ how to make space for the most painful of emotions, without getting stuck there
⁃ how reconciliation after adultery is possible but not inevitable
⁃ the critical steps of forgiveness in order to be free
You can find this episode over on our website, or subscribe to The Union Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, or Spotify.
Episode 41 - Making A Clean Break
Have you ever gone through a break up?
They aren’t easy. There can be so much pain and emotional anguish connected to them, especially if there have been lines crossed emotionally and sexually.
In this episode Bryan and Bonnie discuss key elements of how to respond and re-focus after a breakup, as well as fight the real lies that will try to speak to you about who you are and what is in your future.
We cover these topics:
-confronting your past
-handling memories
-walking out of shame and regret
-finding identity and purpose as a single person
-identifying true compatibility
Episode 39 - Pt 2 With Jim Anderson on Raising Children That Love Jesus
One of the major challenges as a parent, who follows Christ, is to raise your children in such a way that they grow to genuinely love Him too.
In this episode we sit down for part 2 of our conversation with our friend Jim Anderson, to hear wisdom and practical tips on how Jim and his wife Lisa have raised 8 children to love Jesus.
Episode 38 - Jim Anderson: Fatherhood, Pro-Life, and the Restoration of Broken Hearts
We recently sat down with long time friend a mentor Jim Anderson and talked about the unique story of how his ministry began. God had put a burden in his heart for protecting the unborn and over the years of work in this arena God begin to reveal the connection between abortion and the increase in sexual brokenness within culture.
Jim Anderson has been married to Lisa for 41 years and has 8 wonderful grown children.
He and Lisa lead Sexuality Unmasked, a worldwide ministry dedicated to releasing God's truth, healing, and restoration in the areas of sexuality and relationships.
He is also the author of the book "Unmasked: Exposing the Cultural Sexual Assault".
Episode 34 - The Everyday Choices That Bring Freedom From Addiction w/ John Elmore
Porn, pills, food, money, alcohol, social media, body image, status, sex, anxiety. Whatever you're struggling with, John Elmore knows what it's like to be stuck and how to get free. In 2005, he put a loaded shotgun to his head and later had three doctors tell him he was going to die of alcoholism. More than fifteen sober years later, he leads the world's largest weekly recovery gathering, re:generation, where people journey toward healing in Christ. In his latest book, “Freedom Starts Today” he unpacks timeless biblical truth that will help anyone who is stuck in socially acceptable or unacceptable sins find long lasting freedom in Christ.
John is the senior director of pastoral care and director of recovery at Watermark Community Church in Dallas, Texas.
He and his wife, Laura, have not had REM sleep since 2013, after having three kids in three years. They survive on coffee, takeout, and lots of prayer.
You can follow him
@john_a_elmore and www.freedomstartstoday.org
Episode 31 - Before You Split with Toni Nieuwhof
“I didn’t sign up for this!”
“I can’t do this anymore!”
“That’s it - I’m done!”
Ever said or thought these things? Or, are you feeling disconnected, like you’re drifting apart? Marriage is challenging at times. Especially when you don’t feel equipped to face the challenges. In this episode, Bryan and Bonnie sit down with Toni Nieuwhof to discuss her new book, “Before You Split: Find What You Really Want for the Future of Your Marriage”
Toni Nieuwhof is a family law mediator, former divorce attorney, author, speaker and co-host of the Smart Family Podcast. She has been married to her husband Carey for over 30 years, and live in the greater Toronto area.
Get Your Copy Of Before You Split
Follow on IG- @toninieuwhof
Episode 30 - Being A Disciple And How That Effects Our Sexual Choices
Far too often we separate what it means to be a disciple of Jesus and the choices one makes in the realm of sexuality.
In this episode, Bryan sits down with Adam Narciso and they discuss how vital the connection between discipleship and sexuality really is.
Adam lives with his wife, Jenny, and their four children, in Franklin, Tennessee. He is the author of "New Identity: 30 Days of Prayer for Spiritual Transformation" and producer of multiple e-courses, as well as the Jesus Movement Now Podcast. Since 2009 Adam has trained and mobilized over 40 international evangelism teams and has equipped thousands in the areas of identity, hearing God and evangelism via seminars around the world. You can find him on Instagram @adamnarciso, or on his website www.adamnarciso.com
New Identity: 30 Days of Prayer for Spiritual Transformation
Episode 28 - Transparency In Marriage & Overcoming Lust
When you are dealing with an issue of lust, should you talk to your spouse about it? (And how?)
How can you overcome the past and get freedom in your mind?
How can you grow in intimacy with your husband or wife?
How do you face the pain of feeling betrayed by your spouse’s issue with porn?
These are all questions that we tackle in this refreshingly open conversation with Brendan and Jaclyn Weidner. We’re so grateful for their transparency about their past issues with us here on the Union Podcast, and we know you’ll get some help in sorting through some of your own.
Head over to Apple Podcast, Spotify, or Google Play to listen to Episode 28. If you haven’t already, be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss any of the upcoming episodes, and please do leave us a review or share, so that others will have an easier time finding us!
Comment below, and let us know what you learned!
Episode 26- The Porn Industry, Jesus, And New Beginnings.
One of the most amazing things about God is that He is able to make things new. Not just “like new” but brand new! He does it time and time again in our life. Bryan recently sat down with Richard and Brittni De La Mora to discuss how Jesus brought Brittni out of the porn industry, and how they processed those dynamics within their relationship to experience God’s new beginning.
Richard and Brittni De La Mora are parents, pastors, evangelists and oversee XXXchurch.com Life didn't always look like this for them. While many once knew Brittni as one of the world's most famous porn stars, Richard grew up in the church. They met in 2013 after Brittni started attending his uncle's church and got married in 2016. They recently founded Love Always Ministries, a ministry that helps people walk in their calling by discovering God's love and leading a victorious life through purity.
Connect:
Social Media- @Richardelamora , @Brittnidelamora, @X3church
www.xxxchurch.com
Fresh- Marriage Devotional
Fire- Marriage Devotional
Episode 20- Root Issues Of Porn Addiction w/guest Sathiya Sam
Sathiya Sam is a pastor, entrepreneur, and coach with a passion to see people come alive. A brilliant communicator and clever innovator, Sathiya has created music, books and courses to help people around the world live a life of freedom. His latest project, DeepClean, helps men overcome pornography addiction.
He is recently married and based out of Toronto, Canada.
Episode 19- The Topic Of Pain & Pleasure
What a world we are living in! Who would've thought we'd be confronted with some of the major changes that we have been. For many of us, these changes to life's routine and the fear of what may be ahead has caused a substitution of pain for pleasure.
In this episode, Bryan and Bonnie Pue sit down to discuss the realities of running to a sexual experience to escape from fear, confusion and high levels of stress, and how we can access power to heal and be in peace.
Why Emotions Matter By Tristan & John Collins- Great Read! We highly recommend!
The Bible Project- Also highly recommend :)
Episode 4- Making The Church Safe Again Part 2
In this episode, we continue our conversation with Pastor Mitch and Bonnie Borrows on how the church they lead is growing to have a healthy atmosphere, eliminating shame.