The Union Podcast Episode #111- Jay Stringer On Deciphering Desire: How We Love, Grow & Heal
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In this episode of The Union Podcast, Bryan and Bonnie Pue sit down with therapist and author Jay Stringer to explore the heart behind his powerful new book, Desire. Building on the groundbreaking insights of his previous work, Unwanted, Jay invites us to move beyond behaviour management and into a deeper, more honest engagement with the stories shaping our longings.
For many, the conversation around desire—especially within Christian spaces—has been reduced to avoidance, suppression, or shame. But what if desire is not the enemy? What if, instead, it is a doorway into healing?
Together, we explore why desire has been so widely misunderstood, how curiosity can become a pathway toward freedom, and what it looks like to hold both personal responsibility and compassion in tension. Jay unpacks how our sexual and relational patterns are often rooted in past wounds, and how paying attention to them—rather than numbing or controlling them—can lead to deeper transformation.
Bryan and Bonnie also engage Jay in a thoughtful reflection on the life of King David, asking how we might understand even profound moral failure through the lens of desire, formation, and unmet longing.
Whether you’re wrestling with shame, confusion, or fear around your desires, this conversation offers a hopeful and grounded invitation: your story matters, and healing begins with curiosity, not condemnation.
In this episode, we cover:
• What led Jay to write Desire and how it expands on Unwanted
• Why desire has been misunderstood in the Church
• The limits of behaviour management and the invitation to deeper self-understanding
• How curiosity helps heal what shame has distorted
• Holding together repentance, responsibility, and compassionate self-examination
• A fresh lens on King David’s story
• Practical first steps toward healing for those feeling stuck in shame.
Learn more about Jay’s work and find Desire wherever books are sold.
IG- @jay_stringer_
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