Deciphering Desire- clarity on sinful desire, action and human identity

“Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.”

James 1:13-15

There is much discussion within church culture about if it is acceptable, in God’s sight, for a person to have sexual desires if they do not act upon them. This conversation often arises in the context of individuals dealing with same-sex attraction (SSA) while also believing in Jesus, but this question should be considered with any other possible sexual desire. Some view internal desires as harmless as long as it does not lead to actions.

At The Union, we often receive questions about what kinds of sexual behaviour are acceptable. One of the most frequently asked questions is, "Can you be gay and be a Christian?” If you wanted a short answer, according to Scripture, we would say a simple "No”.

But, there is a much longer answer that takes into consideration what someone means by their question. When they say “gay”, they may be referring to actions, to desires, an identity—or all three aspects. That differentiation matters, and requires us to delve deeper into the dynamics of desire and identity. So, let’s ask that question a little differently:

“Can someone have desires for something biblically defined as sin, and still be a Christian?” Yes, I’m sure every believer could attest to the way they wrestle with various temptations, but it is worth noting right away that a follower of Christ has a desire to honour Him, and so doesn’t want to make space for those sinful desires to grow.

The concept of identifying as “gay Christian”, but choosing abstinence has been gaining traction in culture, but I’m concerned that people are more attached to the modifier “gay” than they are to their identity in Christ. When any descriptor begins to define us more prominently than our identity in Jesus, it risks becoming a form of idolatry. This issue is not limited to sexuality; it applies to every area of life. If I introduced myself as a straight, white, coffee-snob Christian, I would be suggesting that aspects like my sexuality, ethnicity, or personal preferences carry defining weight alongside—or even above—my identity in Christ. While these traits are part of who I am, they must remain secondary to the reality that I am a child of God through Jesus.

Second, using the adjective “gay” in this way does not align with how we speak about other sinful desires. Hypothetically, if I introduced myself as a “murderous Christian” or an “adulterous Christian,” the response would not be affirmation but concern. Yet when it comes to disordered sexual desires, we often fail to notice this inconsistency.

This leads to an important question: are desires themselves harmless unless acted upon? Scripture teaches otherwise. Our desires are not neutral; they are powerful. Whether expressed outwardly or harbored inwardly, they shape us. What we dwell on and nurture in our hearts has a profound impact on our lives. A helpful way to think about this is that our desires function like engines pulling freight cars of action behind them. The connection between desire and action is real; the only variable is timing. This is precisely what James addresses. He makes it clear that God does not tempt anyone, because evil is not part of His nature. Instead, temptation arises from within:

“But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.” (James 1:14) Unchecked desires give rise to temptation. But when sinful desires are surrendered to Christ and put to death, they lose their power to produce sinful action.

“Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.” (James 1:15) Desires are like seeds. When planted in the soil of the heart, they grow and bear fruit. Sexual desires that fall outside the biblical framework for marriage are no exception. If we allow such desires to dwell unchecked in our hearts and minds, we should not be surprised when they eventually draw us to action.

This is why Scripture urges us, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23).

We guard our hearts by practicing what Paul describes in 2 Corinthians 10:5: taking every thought captive to obey Christ. The language here evokes the image of leading a thought away as a prisoner—bringing it before the Lord, recognizing its guilt, and refusing to let it remain. Sinful desires are not badges of our identity; they are burdens to be laid down. In humility, we submit them to God and allow His grace to transform us. And then we confess what we’ve been wrestling with to trustworthy people who can remind us of God’s great love and purposes for our life.

The call to deny our flesh will be painful at times, but it is also life-giving. As we surrender sinful desires under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, we gain access to the resurrecting power of the Holy Spirit that renews us. Our sacrifice of walking in obedience does not earn salvation or buy us greater love of our Heavenly Father. Rather it is a vital response to the sanctifying work taking place in our life.

It is easy to read something like this and think it applies only to others—those whose struggles differ from our own. But this misses the point. Each of us must examine our own hearts: are there areas where we are allowing sinful desires to take root and remain unchecked?

Are we compromising our identity as children of God in order to participate in impurity? Are we savouring sinful fantasies? Flirting with adultery? Defending idols of lustful indulgence?

If so, there is a gracious invitation from the Lord: to repent, to change our minds, to confess, and to put our money where our mouth is. As we surrender these desires, we will receive His transforming grace. God’s correction is never arbitrary or harsh; it is purposeful and loving. As Hebrews reminds us, “He disciplines us for our good, that we may share in His holiness” (Hebrews 12:10b).

In all of this, the goal is not merely restraint, but transformation—becoming people who are fully alive in Christ, shaped by His truth, and sustained by His Spirit.